strina | Entries tagged with rl

My dad always has a shit-ton of flash drives in a box on his desk, because he gets them as swag at conferences and stuff. So I grabbed a couple today, looking for an empty one to put his present on.

I plug the first one in, it’s not empty, so I’m about to close it when…I see a document labeled Will1.

Obviously you see a will, you open it, right? I have read/watched too many mysteries to NOT read a mysterious will.

Except LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, INTERNET. DO NOT OPEN WILLS. YOU LEARN THINGS YOU NEVER IMAGINED.

MY DAD HAS A SECRET CHILD.

(A SECRET CHILD WHO EXPLICITLY GETS NOTHING IN THE WILL, BECAUSE APPARENTLY IF YOU HAVE A SECRET CHILD AND DON’T MENTION THAT YOU’RE NOT LEAVING THEM ANYTHING ON PURPOSE, THEY CAN SUE FOR PART OF THE ESTATE. LIVE AND FUCKING LEARN!)

…Obviously I googled her immediately. And I seem to have found her.

Why am I so sure, you might ask? Because her first name is spelled unusually (Karlye), she comes from the right area - which happens to be middle of nowhere Oklahoma, so not a huge pool of possibilities to start, and oh, one other thing: when I logged into Facebook for the first time in months, just so I could maybe see more of her profile, SHE HAD ALREADY SENT ME A FRIEND REQUEST EVEN THOUGH WE DON’T KNOW ANY OF THE SAME PEOPLE. EXCEPT, APPARENTLY, OUR DAD.

WHY IS MY LIFE A SOAP OPERA. WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK THAT SO OFTEN. THE WHOLE “YOU’RE THE REASON YOUR DAD AND I ELOPED TO TEXAS AND MADE YOUR GRANDMA SO MAD THAT 25 YEARS LATER, SHE WILL BE ONE OF THE TWO GUESTS AT YOUR COUSIN’S SECRET WEDDING” SHOULD HAVE BEEN PLENTY FOR ONE PERSON. LET ALONE THE “BROTHER IS DATING THE DAUGHTER OF YOUR MOM’S SECOND (COMMON-LAW) HUSBAND AND BY THE WAY, YOU HAVE A SECRET HEIRLOOM OF HER DAD’S FAMILY IN YOUR APARTMENT”. BUT NO. THE UNIVERSE HAS TO GO FULL-ON GODDAMN SECRET BABY.

!!!!!????!!!?

UPDATE: SHIT GOT WEIRDER.

So I was venting to my best friend about the WTFness of it all and she thought she recognized the name, so she got on secret-sister’s Facebook.

APPARENTLY SHE USED TO WORK WITH THE GIRL’S ADOPTED MOM, WHOSE SISTER WAS THE BIO-MOM. NOBODY EVER SAID A WORD ABOUT THE BIO-DAD AND NOW WE KNOW WHY.

Secret-sister is ~18, so was conceived about two years after my parents’ divorce and before he and my stepmom were really a thing. Which makes the secrecy SO MUCH WEIRDER.

I just. Does my grandma know?! Do I tell my brother? How do I bring this shit up without going into “I felt mystery-plot-device obligated to open this will, but that is not the point right now”?

UPDATE UPDATE: I JUST REALIZED THE CONTEXT OF A WILL MEANS HE WAS LITERALLY PLANNING TO TAKE THIS SHIT TO THE GRAVE.

[Note: Post copied from tumblr, because that is where I was when my feelings exploded. They have exploded approximately three more times since, most recent best summed up as "IT IS TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, AKA, THE LAST TIME THIS YEAR ME, MY DAD, AND MY BROTHER WILL BE IN THE SAME ROOM. AWKWARD SECRET-KEEPING OR EPIC SHITSHOW?"]

Am now poking suspiciously at tumblr.

I did just post a bunch of photos of the gorgeous redbuds in my dad's front yard. If you have never seen a blooming redbud tree, you should definitely take a look! People talk up cherry trees a lot, but to me, nothing beats a redbud.

I am going to attempt Dewey's 24 Hour Readathon on Saturday! So I am stockpiling books. The problem with that is not reading the books nownowNOW. I've got a pile of Heidi Cullinan and Terry Pratchett and Wen Spencer and Jennifer Crusie to start me off, but we shall see what my craving's for on the day.

I will be posting updates on that - and apparently some minichallenges? - on Consume All the Things, which is also where I'm sequestering the stuff I'm doing for the 500 episodes and 100 movies memes.

How have I not read Elizabeth Moon's Once a Hero before? I actually had a paperback copy of it to match my ebook. It was kind of lovely. I didn't read the last two or first three of the series, because I am kind of burnt out on conspiracies and corruptions, but you guys! Awesome ladies of color fighting space pirates! Some of them awesome older ladies! Maybe skip Once a Hero if you have noncon issues (it's nongraphic and in the past); DEFINITELY skip the sequel if you do (still not very graphic, but there is a fuckton of it in a particular storyline).

Bitter because everything I want to read comes out in March. Shelly Laurenston, Anne Bishop, Heidi Cullinan, seriously, EVERYTHING.

Burn for Me by Ilona Andrews is fucking awesome, you guys. I put it off for a while because the description was super romance novel-y, but that was a mistake. There will definitely be a romance eventually, but this book was way more focused on "save the family business, catch the murdering narcissistic pyromage", which I am WAY more into. The worldbuilding is amazing, the badass mother and grandmother are amazing, the weird feral-cat weapon of mass destruction that is our (eventual!) romantic lead is amazing. RECOMMENDED.

So I have been into Wen Spencer for a long time, and then I peaced out mid-Wolf Who Rules and never finished the series and now I'm thinking it may have just been bad timing, because I gave it another shot and I am fucking in. It may have been fear of an impending love triangle that made me bow out before? But it turns out elves have a whole poly setup that is much more comfortable for me. I should have trusted you, Wen Spencer! I am sorry. Now give me more books, because I have a lot of feelings. Like, a whole fuckton of feelings about the nature documentary sideplot in particular, and about Pittsburgh in general.

But seriously, that short story about the morning show: I would read a whole fucking book. I would buy the eArc of that book, and tell all my friends, and please please give me that book.

Also, what the fuck is going to happen to Tommy's forbidden baby? Also, am I crazy or did Stone Clan's resident nutbag do something seriously magical to his lady's baby? Also, I need Tinker to find out about her biosibs immediately. Seriously, WHAT IS UP with all the cliffhanger-y baby drama, I need so many answers/reaction shots.

Speaking of Wen Spencer, Eight Million Gods is relevant to several people's interests: Nikki, a writer on the run from the controlling and powerful mother who has institutionalized her repeatedly (she has hypergraphia), finds out that her novel in progress - including the brutal murders - is actually happening. Set in Japan, it does some neat/horrifying stuff with mythology (the part where the mostly-villain burns out a succession of shrine maidens as insufficiently powerful vessels was pretty messed up) and with Nikki's powers/limitations.

So I finally read all (well, all but book 10) of the Chronicles of Elantra and they were mostly good - A+ worldbuilding - but oh my god, do not read them in one go. By book 8, I was definitely losing patience with the climactic battle/epiphany scene - seriously, I will read your badass boss battle OR your intense emotional journey, stop mashing them together - and I hit the fucking wall with book 9. Which sucked, because that was potentially amazing, but the familiar + the ritual + the lost children + Kaylin's complete inability to prioritize "massive danger to multiple people if action isn't taken basically immediately" over "that person on the ground over there needs my help!"...I can't even. You needed to do those two at a time AT MOST.

Also, that is the creepiest fucking love triangle in the world. And somehow the immortal, unaging, sinister slumlord isn't the creepiest option! Because here is the thing with Severn: he is already in love with her at the beginning of the first book. Therefore, he either fell in love with her while CANONICALLY STALKING HER FROM THE SHADOWS FOR YEARS or SOMEHOW EVEN CREEPIER, fell in love with her WHEN SHE WAS THIRTEEN AND HE WAS EIGHTEEN, after being her BIG BROTHER/PSEUDO-PARENT SINCE SHE WAS FIVE. I am going all in for the slumlord, y'all, because what the sparkling fuck.

For real, I want that Shelly Laurenston book so bad. I am super into her female characters, especially the nonhuman ones. For example, Blayne* is the perky, cheerful, matchmaking heroine in the series and yet it is completely believeable when she brutally murders a bunch of attempted kidnappers, because her mom got hunted when she was a kid, so her dad made sure she could defend herself! Also, female friendships! Female friendships that are more than convenient author-excuses for talkin' 'bout men! That are actually way more about roller derby and barhopping and dragracing and family and backing each other up!

*Of Beast Behaving Badly, which I was going to link, but 1) ick, the cover - Blayne's black and 2) eurgh, the description - he does not "shadow her around New York", she talks him into a coaching arrangement, and most importantly, Bo is 100% not "smooth-talking". IN THEIR FIRST INTERACTION, SHE IS CONVINCED HE IS A SERIAL KILLER. ( Reproduced behind the cut, because it is my favorite: )

Basically, Bo is like someone combined fandom!Sidney Crosby and the Hulk and it is pretty great for me, but 90% of the rest of the characters hate him, because somehow a laser focus on winning, a super intense commitment to scheduled routines, and the ability to hurl grown men across hockey rinks at whim do not net you a lot of fans. Just, you know, my unending love.

I dipped back into some YA (nothing I hadn't read before) and watched some stuff and guys, I spend a lot of time just baffled by some of these high school experiences. Are school nurses really a common thing? I did three different school districts and they were never a thing.

And seriously, are most people getting sex ed? We never even got the basic health lecture about changing bodies or whatever that I keep seeing in stuff. I have LITERALLY never gotten a sex talk from ANYBODY. There was a "why are my boobs different sizes" conversation with my mom when I was seven or eight that she found hilarious and I found spectacularly unhelpful (my mom doesn't really have boobs), and an excruciating but thankfully brief explanation on menstruation from my dad's girlfriend in probably sixth grade, and that was IT.

My sex education has all come from you, Internet. And not the cool helpful version of you that includes Scarleteen. The porn you.

For everyone wincing at the screen right now, let me make it worse. I was definitely one of the better-informed girls at my school, because I did have the Internet, and privacy. Oh, and romance novels. There was a lot of unsafe sex at my high school, y'all, and at least some of it was not intended to be that way.

I feel just really nervous and restless, which is not at all a good sign of things to come in my brain. It was just a really bad week, you guys. Week and a half, really. I was already edging myself toward a panic attack and then I worked my manager's shift on Saturday (for which I got paid NOT A DIME, because Monday was a bank holiday and so I was still under 40 hours), and then some stuff when down with a guy on my floor at the apartments that was just - awful and dumb and gave me literal nightmares, because there's a guy sexually harrassing you, and then there's a guy sexually harrassing you who lives in your building, likes to listen for movement in the hall outside his door (and you have to pass his door, it's the only to the safe stairs OR the elevator) so he can pop out and make people interact with him, and SURPRISE! who knows which apartment you're in, even though the hallway is constructed in such a way that he literally cannot have seen you go in there from his apartment. Also, he's persistent enough to knock on a door for hours with no encouragement.

There's since been a police report, because I didn't know at the time that you even could call the police for stuff like that if there weren't threats or something physical.

And then the friend that I work with, who persuaded to get this job, had her last day Friday and left me with a manager that I kind of want to yell at a lot. Which is complicated by the fact that when I was hired, our district manager was very careful to ask if I would have a problem working under a manager younger than me, because they'd had to let somebody go for taking constant issue with her. I do not give a fuck about her age, I care about a) the on-the-job training that I never fucking got, that I have literally been to other branches and seen, b) the fact that this last week makes TWO Saturdays I have had to come in and work on my day off, without pay, and that for NEITHER of them did she give me one of the tip cards we're supposed to get for going above and beyond the job (it's only worth $10, but that is still fucking better than $0), and c) that she's folding volunteer work into her manager position in such a way that she's planning fundraisers for Relay for Life every two weeks and everybody gets voluntold to bring stuff and shamed in front of everybody else if they don't. It's a good cause and all, but I literally cannot afford to spend ten to twenty dollars on it out of every paycheck.

Like I said, not one thing to do with her aga, ALL to do with shitty management choices.

So! I realized that a couple posts ago I referenced the Christmas of Inappropriate Books and then never explained.

I come from a family of booknerds, at least on my father's side, and my mother did everything in her power to foster that. She read to me in the womb. I teethed on books. I got books instead of toys when we went places. I am the only person I know who got targeted "how to read out loud correctly" lessons from my father (second grade! super useful, though).

Anyway, Christmas, fourth grade. My dad a) doesn't re-read books, and b) no longer regards scifi/fantasy as legit genres for adults. I supermegaheart scifi/fantasy and have begun sneaking into the adult section of the public library because I'm running out of YA sf/f not entirely focused on dudes.

After all the other presents are opened, my dad and uncle drag in ten or twelve large plastic totes and tell me they are all BOOKS FOR ME from when my dad was a kid/teenager. I leap upon them like they are everything I never knew I wanted, BECAUSE THEY ARE, and am lost in a new book haze for a good chunk of time. While I'm distracted, the adults are also looking through the books, because nostalgia, IDK. To this day, I have no idea which book my dad was looking at, but it apparently reminded him pretty hard that 70s scifi, not so appropriate for eight year olds, even ones reading at a high school level. SUDDENLY, THE BOOKS WERE MOSTLY TAKEN AWAY.

Thus began my six-year campaign of sneaking MY NEW BOOKS out of the garage and back. Because you do not give a booknerd books and then tell she can have all of them only when she's some nebulous "older". Podkayne of Mars and Friday and Spaceling were TOTALLY WORTH the subterfuge. Stranger in a Strange Land and John Varley's Titan...MAYBE I HAVE SOME REGRETS.

So...a week ago, I had a perfect day.

Not a good day or even a great day, it was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. I got exactly enough sleep, everything I ate was delicious, I did everything I wanted, I didn't worry about anything, it was amazing.

Like, if heaven was time loop, it would be July 2, 2013.

So. I'm in a cast now. For a STRAINED WRIST. Like, it was getting worse, not better, even wearing a brace, but still, this seems a little extreme. I was legit the only one in my family NEVER TO BE IN ONE OF THESE STUPID THINGS. I am a little cranky about my lost perfect record.

Cast = can't lift feed = can't work at Atwoods. So I am off until the end of the month at least. On the one hand, money may become a bit of an issue. I've got two weeks paid vacation I can take, plus my birthday is a paid holiday, plus any birthday money (basically? if it had to happen, SO GLAD it happened in May), but still. I can borrow from my dad if it gets desperate, I would just rather not if I can help it.

On the other hand, IT IS FOUR GLORIOUS WEEKS OFF FROM WORK. Admittedly, four weeks that will encompass barely any computer time, because the cast is on my right wrist and I can only manage to contort it to fit a mouse for about an hour before my shoulder starts killing me.

So! I don't usually do this, and I want to stress that zero obligation or guilt is intended, but I am going to be pretty fucking bored in a couple weeks, so if anyone wanted to send me a book or two*, I would love them forever.

*Yes, the name on the wishlist is Katherine, yes, it's still me. A couple weeks ago I found a Kindle in an antique store (I don't know either!) for 25 bucks, so obviously I had to get it. It went on a second account because my actual account has working-kindle Metis, broken-kindles Pallas and Seshet, and my kindle for PC and someone told me they cap you at five.

Also, book-filter people, the comm I talked about will no longer spam you if you want to check it out. It is locked to members-only for obvious reasons.

There is no sad like "someone recced a whole REC LIST, so excited, I will have all the fic! ...I HAVE READ ALL OF THESE ALREADY" sad.

I am moving next Friday, but I am bingeing on Teen Wolf instead of packing becauase I am sick and everything is disgusting. Like, I am failing at coughing in a really gross way, WORSE THAN LAST TIME I WAS SICK, and last time they made me go outside before the noises made anyone vomit.

I am really bad at meatsuits, guys.

My application is being reviewed for an apartment and I am just, terrified either way, kind of? Because living on my own has historically NOT GONE WELL for me, but you guys, THIS APARTMENT. It is literally at least 10 times better than anything else I could afford in Chickasha, because it's income based housing in a historical building that just went through a $7 million remodel. THEY ARE THE ONLY APARTMENTS IN TOWN WITH ELEVATORS. It would be 564 sq. foot for $415/mo! I LITERALLY GOT TO GO THROUGH THE BUILDING AND JUST PICK WHICH APARTMENT LOOKED GOOD TO ME, BECAUSE A) THEY ALL HAVE INDIVIDUAL FLOOR PLANS AND B) THEY'RE ALL CURRENTLY EMPTY.

So I could use some luck, if you've got it to spare.

Oh man, other cashiers keep getting into arguments/discussions with customers about the open-carry law and it is uncomfortable. Because people standing behind me arguing with people about guns, most often while the other person HAS a gun = not my favorite!

For real, I don't give a shit about it anywhere other than work, but at work? It's people with guns wandering a store where 1) the visible staff is mostly, and the cashier department entirely, female, 2) the registers are less than ten feet from the doors, and 3) there is no on-site security or alarms or panic buttons or anything - the only phones that can actually dial outside lines are AT the registers or in the back offices WITH THE VAULT, we would literally have to wait for whoever to finish and leave the store before alerting police.

SUPER FUN.

So I was viciously mauled by a housecat last night.

Which sounds like the beginning of a joke? Actually for real. ER visit for real, even. I narrowly avoided getting staples in my scalp. My left hand is so swollen and bruised from the bites that I can barely move it. So I will be offline for a bit!

So I'm going to be getting an apartment in the next 4 - 6 months and I need advice. Cheapest way to get furniture that won't give me rashes or worse - in a small town? Best way to sell extraneous crap comprised largely of books and that comprised largely of old lit text books? How do you internet subscription?

1) Wow, Kei's Gift has way more racism than I remembered - "Prij/Darshian" racism, but really "white people/brown people" racism. Somerville engages with it? But I was not super-comfortable with the "brown people are magically gifted, socially cooperative, and peaceful, while white people are ungifted and superstitious, xenophobic, and warmongering" thing*, especially when several of the more magically gifted characters were described as "childlike". There are only a handful of "good" white people and they are almost uniformly dead or exiled at the end of the book. There were also some unfortunate implications about homosexuality (the only such relationships we see involve at least one and in most cases both/all partner(s) being infertile).**

*I would feel way better about it if there had been more shades of gray, but seriously every bad action by a Darshian is traced back to trauma/bad feelings caused by Prijian warmongering.

**Full disclaimer: by the last third or so, I was skipping entire chapters at a time, SO GLAD I DID NOT PAY FULL PRICE FOR THIS.

2) I feel very ugh today physically and also mentally. I'm dizzy/nauseated/headachey and I don't want to read anything or do anything.

3) I did power through the two easiest lists I had on deck, because I am running out of time: Fix These Words in Your Heart: Astolat and Fix These Words in Your Heart: Lomonaaeren, my 15 favorite fics by each author.

4) I killed like 20 minutes (finger-)combing my hair for the first time in probably a week. I keep it clubbed back basically all of the time so it gets snarled but doesn't look awful - every time I comb or brush I lose hair like crazy. Mane 'n Tail's Detangler is fucking amazing. It detangles and conditions, and the 32 oz bottle from work was only $6.99 (before my discount). The conditioned feeling lasts through a couple shampoos, too. Seriously, it is 7 hours later and I can still run my fingers through my hair. That never fucking happens.

5) I am really enjoying GCB so far, y'all. I don't like Carlene, but I really like how happy Rip and Carlene's marriage is. Also, how much do I love Blake and Cricket's relationship? THIIIIIIIS MUCH. Like, I spent a good chunk of the last episode thinking "does she know?" and "it'd be great if that was just their thing", AND THEN. I was not expecting that kind of storyline and it makes me happy. Also, I want some Amanda/Heather. Also also, I love Cricket's faaaace, the things she can do with her eyes kill me.

6) I don't usually mess with torrents anymore, but I have refound That One SFF Book Torrent. One problem: I don't have a torrent program on this computer. Recs?

1) PC Hodgell's latest novel threw in an accidental lesbian marriage and it is great in every possible way, plus I have decided that the Kencyr and the Kendar both are just batshit crazy from trauma (mostly Knorth-related) and also that try as I might to take it seriously, I mostly find the religious bitterness kind of hilarious. They are monotheists who hate their god more than anything. There is for real a City of a Thousand Gods on this world and they have been there and they have seen "gods" and decided, to a one, that bitches ain't shit. Jame killed one for the lulz and then brought him back, 'cause she could. Like, usually when people get disaffected with their religion, they find a new one, or decide there is no god, or that they did something to deserve this catastrophe. The Kencyrath are just like, NO, WE KNOW HE'S REAL, HE JUST FUCKING ABANDONED US LIKE HE SUDDENLY REMEMBERED HIS SECOND FAMILY IN JERSEY. WE FUCKING HATE HIM. To the point where a bunch of them hate Shanir, because they're too close to god and god is a ruiner. They seriously have genocidal madmen they don't hate this much (and genocidal madmen that they do - Kencyr are destructive sons of bitches).

2) I drove 50 miles to Whole Foods Sunday night to get some of this amazing alfredo sauce and they were out and I was looking at the website today and that sauce is made in Anadarko, aka, where my dad works, and is sold AT A GROCERY STORE HERE IN TOWN. ARE YOU KIDDING.

PS, it is Scaffetta's Alfredo Sauce and you can apparently also get it at Whole Foods in Louisiana and Texas. IF YOU CAN, YOU SHOULD TRY IT. I DON'T EVEN LIKE MOST ALFREDO SAUCE, BUT THIS STUFF IS FUCKING DELICIOUS.

My car is probably actually sell-it-for-parts dead (it's been a nonstarter for a week and a half) and I am probably fired come Monday (I legit fucked up, but god, I don't wanna be fired).

I hate everything.

I am going to a haunted house tonight! I have not been to a haunted house since 2005, y'all; I am excited. I love Halloween.

I am endlessly baffled/amused at this hostess schtick I've got going with the crew from work, especially because when it comes to the attention of anyone else I've known, ever, they just go whaaaaaat. But it turns I don't really dislike cooking or baking, I just dislike doing those things alone. Also, the girls I work with are easily impressed and it's awesome. They treated a salad with apples and cranberries in it like a MAGIC TRICK.

I have two new spoon rings and I love them. I complimented a customer on hers and she said she'd have to get her friend who'd made it to come in with some sometime and then BAM. Half an hour later, they both come in with a whole tray of rings. I maybe shouldn't have spent the $40? But I'm never going to see the ring lady again and they are some badass rings.

Speaking of money I probably shouldn't spend, I think I'm going to buy a second Kindle. I love Athene? But the sheer volume of my content is apparently what's been fucking her up. I think I'd be better served by one Kindle for what I'm reading and one Kindle for what I've read. I am just rather leary of this "special offers" nonsense. For one, I hate ads on shit I've paid for. But the bigger issue is that I'm worried about it possibly slowing things down on the home screen and that is already legitimately one of my biggest problems with the Kindle. Does anyone have one of the special offers Kindles?

My computer hates me and everything is stupid.

(I spent an hour and a half last night trying to install new RAM. I gave up after bursting into tears and punching the desk.

Every site I look at tells me I bought the right thing, but I just cannot make it work. I PUT IT IN AND TURN IT ON AND IT JUST BEEPS AT ME. ANGRILY.)

This is my computer.

(I just wanted a picture? And now I'm kind of boggling at that price. Like, they've upgraded the RAM and the graphics card from what I've got, but, uh. I got mine for $75. And it came with monitor/speakers/keyboard/mouse/wireless mouse/some specialized software (if I ever need the Oracle Developer Suite, I apparently have it? but I have no idea what most of these programs do). Once again, Western Farmers is the BEST WORKPLACE EVER, oh my god.)

I am apparently going to need to crack it open tonight to see if I need DDR1 or DDR2 RAM and I am so not looking forward to it. That thing weighs like 60 pounds.

Can I just say how constantly hilarious I find it that there's a whole group of people who associate coming over to my house with me making delicious food for them? That people associate ME with "makes delicious food" at all?

Anyway, does anyone have tips for something easy that goes with tacos? Last time I did taco night I did one pound each of chicken and beef and then a small (frozen) cheescake and that was NOT ENOUGH FOOD. And that was four people and Sunday there will be five.

Help?

I am off to watch Bad Teacher with Jackie, because it is the only movie at our theater that I will watch, but have not yet seen (Mr Popper's Penguins - NO. XM:FC - ( spoiler )) To sum up, canon hates my OTPs and I don't like it. (WILD SWANS AND TELEPATHS, I ship it forever.)

So I have not really engaged with fandom since March. I've been reading fic, 'cause I'm ALWAYS reading fic, but I haven't been reading journals more than once in a blue moon, or watching my shows beyond the DVR-has-no-space-QUICK-watch-something, and there's been no working on lists at all. I've been tired and sad and stressed and even the things I usually love just seemed unbearable. I don't want to do that anymore? So I'm going to try something.

I have ~4 days of vacation left ("~", because it's unpaid anyway, THANKS ATWOODS, so I can theoretically have as much as they'll approve, but I have 4 days left of my two weeks vacation I'm supposed to get). I was going to use it on a convention, but Oklahoma conventions generally suck, and I'm too broke to go to a good convention. I am therefore taking my days July 11 - July 14 and I am having a FANDOM WEEK. I am having my own personal readathon on Tuesday, because I'm always working when there's an actual one, but other than that, who knows?

WHAT HAVE I BEEN MISSING, Y'ALL, TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO.

It feels like 2004 again - I am spending basically all my time online downloading things to read later, except now I'm putting them on a Kindle instead of just trying to save something to read on one computer while my brother used our dial-up to game on his (yeah, there was the family's computer and then "Richard's computer", even though they were both technically supposed to be shared; I should maybe not be so surprised at his cutrrent levels of dickishness). I have seriously not spent this little time at a computer in years.

Been watching a shit-ton of movies for the 100 movies meme, because it's kind of fascinating, watching this many things for the first time. It's helped by my owning a bunch of movies I bought when the video store shut down but have never actually watched before, like The Quiet.

I'm also not adjusting super-well to the whole 40 hours a week, every week, thing. I'm stressed out and just tired all the time and the recent epic fail of my planned week and half of relaxation did not help (Dad in Vegas for a week followed by housesitting for Mom for four days while they were in Missouri = glorious solitude, except no, because I was violently ill that week).

Also, there's the lingering question of what the fuck is happening to the building complex I work in, because Atwoods had minimal damage (where "minimal damage" is lost part of the roof and the entire fucking air conditioning system, which will take one to two months to replace. In Oklahoma. In summer. FUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUU.), but Atwoods is not a stand alone building, it shares a wall with two other spaces. The whole shebang is something like 14 possible stores, of which about 8 were occupied pre-tornado, and one of the 8 was completely fucking obliterated (they no longer have a back wall - but still, no injuries!). It was not doing real well, is what I'm saying. There's a good chance the landlady might just 'doze the whole thing rather than pay that much to repair, when all the businesses are trying to move north and further into town/closer to Walmart.

Here! Have a video of the tornado hitting work, because somebody actually shot that shit: From the movie theater behind the store (especially the roof peeling off at the 1:50 mark).

So I was at work yesterday when a tornado hit. Like, I was literally in the middle of processing a check when Mandy saw the edge of the tornado and we had to sprint for the bathrooms. Sadly, the store was not destroyed and my car only lost the back window (Dad was briefly all excited that we might get to total it before, like, the engine falls out).

Everyone was completely uninjured, so I get to be flippant.

Good news: I got a new job! Bad news: it's 15 hrs/week, so it's an addition to Atwoods, not a substitute for Atwoods, and also I'm already not crazy about it. I'm thinking I'll keep it for a month or two and then beg off on account of 15 + 40 = a lot of fucking hours to work for $8 and $8.25/hr, respectively, with no benefits. But it'll be some extra cash in the car fund Dad keeps harping on.

RL is largely a shitshow - still estranged from my brother, my mom's dealing with some at-this-point-chronic health issues for once unrelated to her mental health or drug abuse issues, my dad's yelling at me about my money because my brother totalled his car and has been given Dad's '00 Oldsmobile that was slated to replace my on-its-last-legs '98 and now Dad's stressed and I'm pissed and stressed for related reasons petty and large, and, OF COURSE, work continues to get worse. I'm looking for another job that I would like better (preferably at a bank), but at this point, if I don't get one in the next couple weeks? I'm quitting anyway. I will work at McDonald's. FUCK that place. Most recently, I've been written up for taking a lunch and there being a rush while I was gone, never mind it being dead all morning, there were three cashiers still on duty, and taking an 11-12 lunch in a 6:45-3:45 shift is pretty fucking reasonable. Like, I have put up with a lot of shit? But getting lectured about that three times is kind of the last fucking straw, thanks. Especially with the added bit about how lunches needed to be scheduled not according to the way "we" wanted things, but for the convenience of the customers and the "good of the store". Um. THREE PEOPLE IS PLENTY OF COVERAGE WHEN I HAVE BEEN THE ONLY ONE ACTUALLY AT THE REGISTERS ALL MORNING. THERE WASN'T EVEN ENOUGH BUSINESS FOR *TWO* CASHIERS TO STAY UP THERE. SO SORRY MY CLAIRVOYANCE FAILED ME, YOU ASSHOLE.

I'm also in a very INTERACTION = BAD phase, complete with paranoia, so that's been. Fun. I've only even lurked on either journal site two or three times since before Thanksgiving. I've mostly just plundering FF.net with Graffer and Calibre. I hate and love it so much. Long, amazing stories, in tons of fandoms! Horrible, horrible stories in my favorite fandoms. And I am basically bereft of my usual tools to figure out which is which. There is no "Top Ten". I have no familiar, trusted sources of recs. I'm kind of wandering around flailing for things from people's favorite stories lists and getting about an even number of hits and misses.

I am back in HP fandom once again, reading almost exclusively het right now. Lots of Harry/harem (lots of it bad) and apparently Harry/Hermione/Luna is a whole thing in some circles there, much like Harry/Ginny/Luna is in some parts of LJ. Thoughts of Pudding = good (although very much Hermione\Harry/Luna instead of a true OT3). Partially Kissed Hero = don't read it. Some of it's interesting as a thought-exercise? But it's very much an Author Tract, with more info-dump than I've ever seen, and it can get pretty fucking problematic (I had an example, but it's rage-inducing enough that I'll skip it).

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strina

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January 2022

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Shut Up, and Let Me See Your Jazz Hands

Entries tagged with rl

IT STARTED SO INNOCENTLY

MY DAD HAS A SECRET CHILD.

I Feel Like an Awkward Baby Deer

Still Reading a Lot

Everything Is Terrible

The Christmas of Inappropriate Books

I Am Still Baffled and Ecstatic

...I Don't Know How I Feel About This Development

Fishbowliiiiing

I Am Freaking Out

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Holy Fuck This Hurts

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Miscellany

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Fuck You, 2012, Seriously

RL Things!

Also I Broke Two Nails Unlatching Those Stupid Fucking Slots

For Reference:

Life Is Ridiculous

Theater Bound

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Most Interesting Day at Work Ever?

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So! Some Stuff Has Happened

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January 2022

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